a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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