smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
