hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
