So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
