the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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