You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
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his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
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I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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