Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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