Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize