But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
