I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
