You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize