So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
