Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize