I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
