Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
