Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
