Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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