I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
