Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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