If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
