So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
