All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
