Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
