Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize