Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
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It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
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I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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