i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
