Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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