I showed him my bush... on skype.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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