Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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