I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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