Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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