can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
