Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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