i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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