well I can't set my house on fire every night
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
