He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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