I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
someone owes me an orgasm
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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