He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
