I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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