she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
