I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
