I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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