haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
