I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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