I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
