he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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