I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
