bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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