I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
