I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
