can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
