Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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