ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
