just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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