you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
