someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
