just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
