I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
