Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
