She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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