oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
