I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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